If There's a "But"... You Aren't!




I know, there has been silence on my end of this blog for a few weeks.  I had some thoughts kind of percolating, but nothing that was really forming into a blog post.  Then tonight I was talking with a new friend about my trip tomorrow to see Jen Hatmaker and Nicole Nordeman at the “Mess and Moxie” event in Chicago, and it came together.

In preparation for tomorrow’s visit I have been re-listening to my “For The Love” audiobook (by Jen Hatmaker).  In one of the chapters she talks about parenting and how the thing she wants most is for her kids is for them to grow up to be committed disciples and for them to love other well, like Jesus loves.  And I thought, “Me to!”  What I want most for Big and Little is for them to love Jesus fiercely and to mirror that Jesus love to others.

Jen Hatmaker says, “This is why we live and breathe: for the love of Jesus, for the love of our own souls, for the love of our families and people, for the love of our neighbors and this world. This is all that will last. Honestly, it is all that matters. Because as Paul basically said: We can have our junk together in a thousand areas, but if we don’t have love, we are totally bankrupt. Get this right and everything else follows. Get it wrong, and life becomes bitter, fear-based, and lonely. Dear ones, it doesn’t have to be.”

As I was talking to my new friend, she said something that pierced me.  She said, “If you say it and is there’s a “but”… you aren’t.” As in, if you say “I’m not racist, but….” Or “I don’t hate them, but”… you probably are or do.  Let that sink in…  If you have to qualify your statement with a “but,” that little three letter work completely erases everything before it.

How often do I say, either out loud or in my own soul, “I love them, but” or “I would help them, but” or even “I’m not, but.”

  • I love my husband, but… 
  • I don’t mean to gossip, but…
  • I’d help the homeless man on the side of the road, but…
  • I would forgive them, but…
  • I’m not judging them, but…

But… I don’t really mean what I said.  But…I don’t REALLY want to help, or love, or stop gossiping, or forgive, or refrain from judgement. 

I still haven’t mastered showing love the way Jesus loves, the love with no “but…”.  I want to, though.  And I my girls to, also.  I want them to love Jesus fiercely.  And I want them to learn to love others well.  And I want to learn love others well.  And I want the Church to learn to love others well.  There isn’t room for a “but” in the way Jesus loves.

As Jen says, “May we show love in big and small ways, and may that love reach people accustomed to being shamed or ignored.”

Or as Nicole Nordeman says in "Dear Me" (as I have quoted before), “And you cannot imagine all the places you'll see Jesus, But you'll find Him everywhere you thought He wasn't supposed to go… And sit at all the tables, 'cause Jesus eats with everyone… And love, love, love, love, Like it's your own blood…And love, love, love, love, As you have been loved…Jesus loves me this I know, And there are no exceptions.”


 

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