Welcome to the Herd

               I was fortunate to attend the “Moxie Matters” tour with Jen Hatmaker and NicoleNordeman last week.  Not only that, I had meet and greet tickets.  MEET.  AND.  GREET!  I was in a state of pure bliss.  If you don’t know Jen and Nicole (I like to think we are on a first name basis now, because…. You know…. Meet and greet) then feel free to refer to some of my other posts or continue reading.  Jen is an amazing author and blogger.  And her Facebook page gives me life.  She is hilariously funny, but also so deep, raw and honest.  And Nicole is a singer/songwriter.  These are my favorite type of musician because their songs are typically so deep, raw and honest.  Are you detecting a theme??

               I have tons of thoughts and fodder for future posts, but this particular item is bursting to get out of my head and into some real words.  We all need some genuine relationships with people who are with us no matter what.  Jen calls them her tribe. 

               Jen and Nicole both shared stories of painful times they have recently faced where there were attacks coming at them from every side.  During the time of attack, their tribe was there for them, protecting them. 

Jen shared that in a herd of elephants, when a female elephant is injured, weak or giving birth, the rest ofthe female elephants circle around that momma, and basically form a barrieraround her so no one can get to her.  And then, when she is better, they move on together.  If she has had a baby, they kick up a dust storm to protect that new baby’s skin, protecting her just as they protected the momma during labor, and then these female elephants celebrate with loud trumpeting.

               Jen and Nicole both described times when their tribe literally had their back.  It could have been during the vulnerability of book and song writing.  One time just recently for Jen, it was when she came under attack by some of the very people she had spent years serving with and ministering to.  But for both ladies, their tribe was there to encircle them and protect them.  Their tribe had their backs until the attack had passed, or until it was time to trumpet the completion of a book or song or album.

               I reflected on my own life.  Two years ago I began a very painful journey.  I had been ministering with an organization for 4 ½ years, one I had every intention of staying with for the long haul.  I took on a leadership role in the ministry when they were a sinking ship and I fought long and hard to try and right the ship.  I sacrificed some comforts, lots of financial gain and even time with my family.  I gave it all I had…. my heart and my life…. And suddenly…. Those people weren’t with me anymore, but turning against me.  And it hurt badly.  It still hurts.  Two years later, just writing this brings tears.  Leaving that ministry has ushered in a time of extended hurt and has caused me deep wounds.  And I have felt alone and abandoned by all but a few.  A few people were my people and rode through the hard and hurt with me.  They were there to protect me, and circle around me and keep the attackers at bay.  I had my own tribe.

               It’s been an eye opening experience.  There are some ladies I was convinced were in my tribe… until suddenly they weren’t.  I looked around and they weren’t there.  But some gals… they were there.  They were there for every tear, every fit of anger, every soul searching question, every “dark night of the soul” (as Jen calls it).  My tribe was smaller than I thought, but it was strong and these women were there for me, fiercely and loyally.

               I had another recent spell of weakness.  When we went through Big’s cancer scare, I was again weak and needed protecting.  And these gals were there.  They bathed me in prayer.  They listened to my deepest fears and darkest “what ifs…”  These gals circled around me and walked that path with me, every single step of it.

               And again, it was eye opening.  Again, a few people dropped out when I needed them most.  Some that I thought were in the tribe, were actually only a part of it in word, not in deed.  And that hurt.  But I also gained a few new members to my tribe.  It’s amazing how that happens… trial and trouble brings out the worst in some people, but in others it brings out the best.

               I had a friend (many moons ago, but a strong member of my tribe at the time) tell me some words I have come back to again and again over the past 15+ years.  “Rude awakenings are best,” she said, “They leave no ‘ifs,’ ‘ands,’ or ‘buts.’”  Oh how that has rung true so many times.  It’s when you have those moments of rude awakening you know for sure who your tribe is.

               Jesus said in John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

               I just keep circling back to the importance of Christ like love.  It’s how we can act the most like Jesus.  It’s how the world around us knows we belong to Jesus.  And it’s how we build and protect our tribe.  It’s all about love… and it is always love.  It’s love that came to earth and was laid in a manger.  It’s love that walked the earth teaching, ministering, healing and giving…. And it’s love that died on a cross.  It’s all about loving like we have been loved.

               I am so thankful for my girlfriends.  For the ones who have never told me it’s time to get over my hurt and move on… for the ones who listened to my fears about chemo and pain and suffering for Bigl and never once scolded me for jumping to the worst case scenario…for the ones who helped me take the steps I was too weak to take on my own. 

               But I feel like I need a name of my own for my tribe.  Tribe is Jen’s word… I think mine is herd.  Don’t be offended girls, it’s because you are so powerful and majestic.  I don’t want to journey with anyone but you gals… ever!